Wednesday, April 29, 2009

An Evening of Contempoary Sitar Music

We here at Denim on Denim would like to apologize for the lack of posts over the course of the last week. We had a slight incident this week in the Research and Development arm of Denim on Denim which resulted in the violent illness of all of our employees. Due to a lack of official oversight the scientists working in the R&D department took it upon themselves to see what would have if they crossed Swine flue with pink eye. The less said about it all the better, but please know that we have instituted a vigorous new policy here at Denim on Denim. Without going into too much detail the new policy simply states that scientists are required to ask themselves one question; should we do this? Not, could we do this. That easy.

In light of these events please enjoy the jumbo post we have put together for your entertainment today. And, as always, thank you for your continued support of Denim on Denim.

Missed Connections

you kind of puked in your mouth... - w4m

she sounds delicious. i think what may have been between you was beer goggles.

I saw you last night at 5 Star. You were eating wings and yelling at the TV. There was a weird dude next to you with a big baseball hat.
I came up and asked you if you had a light. You wiped your hands on your jeans and told me to move. The weird dude next to you asked if I had a younger sister.
I tried to talk to you later that night, but the Cubs had lost, and you were about 13 Miller High Lifes deep, and you kind of puked a little in your mouth.

Was there something between us????

Missed Connections

We shared a dance - Sat 4/18 - m4w - 32 (Hilliard area bar)

All I know about you is that you are from out of town, can work it on the dance floor, and your friend has great taste in doughnuts. You disappeared before I could learn any more.

The Most Powerful Force in the Universe

The boy was sitting at his desk at home reading when he heard his phone ring in the other room. He got, walked over to the phone and picked the receiver up and put it against his ear. He didn't say anything at first and just listened to the electronic buzzing of nothing on the other end. Then he heard a female voice, softly at first, start to speak. "I saw you today on the bus again. You were wearing your red jacket and your brown shoes and you were near the back of the bus. I got on at the third street stop and sat behind you. I stared at the hair on the back of your head all the way home. I wanted to get up and ask you your name but I was too afraid. At one point you had your head down and were reading a book and I put out my hand and slowly touched your hair. I don't think you noticed. I had to call and tell you this." The voice stopped and the next sound the boy heard from the phone was the dial tone coming from the other end.


The young woman lied in bed, starring up at the ceiling in her bedroom. She could see the cracks in the paint spreading from every corner of the ceiling. Outside the wind blew and she could her the sound of stillness in the air. She climbed out of bed walked into her living room were she sat down and opened up her book on human anatomy. She flipped the pages, only stopping at the pictures that caught her attention. On the page that detailed the veins in the hands she stopped and traced her fingers over the path of the veins on the page. She looked down at her hands and could see the faint blue veins on her hands. With her other hand she traced the veins all over her hand and up and down her arms. She could feel the blood moving ever so slightly in them and she thought about the tiny cells in her veins carrying oxygen all over her body. She traced her veins up her arm and thought about the muscles attached to her bones and tissue attached to her joints that stretched like rubber bands when she straightened them out. When she got to the page about the muscles of the neck she tilted her head back and ran her fingers all over the front of her neck trying to feel the muscles and ligaments. She thought about how those same muscles and ligaments kept her head from falling over. She closed the book, lied on the floor, and though about how everyone she has every known had those same muscles. She thought about how everyone she will ever meet will have those same muscles. She thought about the blood pumping through her veins and without thinking she rolled over onto her side, closed her eyes, and saw stars, plants, and the vastness of the cosmos. She saw universes off in the far distance dancing around each other and every once and awhile occasionally colliding with each other only to continue their movements once again.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Slow Motion Bossa Nova

Missed Connections

To the guy who pissed himself on the No. 2 - w4m - 19 (North Campus)

Thanks. I got your seat
No need to specify the stop you got off on, I'm sure you know who you are.

You looked really cute though, rushing off like that. I didn't know why you were rushing at first.... and.. it was the only available seat... I'm sure the other passengers must've known by the look of terror on my face when the warmth soaked through my pants that something was very wrong. But, I was thinking, seeing as I've already sat in your urine, we should hook up. I mean, you were REALLY attractive, even if one of your pant legs was noticeably darker than the other. Very cute twitch, by the way.
When we finally hook up, you can explain to my friends why exactly it was that I smelled like piss. I did try (in vain) to mask the scent of your musky urine with some cheap vanilla body spray from CVS, but being the pants pisser you are, I'm sure you know.. that never works.

You owe me a new walkman, by the way. And, a new cassette. Seeing as they were covered in urine, I discarded both, as I wasn't about to try salvage either of them. I hope you understand. The Sixths. Wasp's Nest. Find it for me, won't you?

Let me know if you want to hang out... maybe play some Upwords or something.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

In an era of piracy, one must know how to defend ones self

Sometimes I like to watch this video and think about how she was married to Bobby Brown at this time and how weird it is that she would be thinking about Bobby Brown while performing this song. I don't think, at any point in time, Bobby Brown would elicit this type of emotion from anyone. But what do I know, I've never met Bobby Brown.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Our children need a mother and a father to thrive.

There once was a boy named Pedro. Pedro had a father who sold goats in the market every day and a mother who worked the garden in the yard behind their home. One day, when his father was at the market and his mother was tending the garden, Pedro walked into the living room, pulled out an old record, put it on the record player, and placed the needle upon it. The album started rotating and the warping of the album caused it to go up and down like waves in the ocean. Pedro stood there, watching the album go up and down and listened while music started to fill the room. He held out his hands and looked down at them and saw white lights pulsating from his finger tips. As the music got louder the white light followed the tracks of his veins up his arm and into his shirt. He started to feel a warming sensation in his stomach and lifted up his shirt and and watched as his stomach started to glow and pulsate with the rhythm of the song. As the song went on Pedro noticed the light from his stomach was getting stronger and stronger until he had to shield his eyes from the bright light coming from his torso. The light continued to get stronger until the entire room was bathed in a bright glow coming from Pedro's stomach. His mother stood in the garden, watching through the living room window while the light in the room continued to become more intense. She walked up to the window, put her face upon it to look inside and saw Pedro standing there with his shirt up while the glow poured out of his mid-section. As soon as the light become almost too much to bare, the needle lifted up, the music ended, and the light disappeared from Pedro's stomach. He put his shirt down, took the record off, walked back into the kitchen, and decided then and there that things were going to be different from now on.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

How to look like a grown up riding a bike

She looked around and realized no one was looking at her. She slowly raised her hand from her mouse and turned off her monitor. The afternoon sun was coming in through the window and reflected off of her blond hair on to her desk. She looked out the window, uncrossed her legs and started to stand up. She saw the sun light gleaming off the river, she saw the birds flying above the buildings below, and she saw the traffic on the street. She started to think about all the things she could had been doing with her life. She thought about the time she almost dropped out of college to become a chef. She thought about the time in junior high when she told her science teacher she was going to become an astronaut. Looking at the traffic down below on the street made her think about the time she was lying in bed next to him and all the memories came back to her. This is the best it has ever been. I don't want to be anywhere but here. This is the most important thing I have ever done and only I know how much this means to me. She looked out the window one last time and saw the birds flying around each other in random patterns. Closing the shade over the window she sat back down, turned on her monitor, and decided things were looking up.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The kids are doing great...thanks for asking...and i feel like i'm playing the best tennis of my life

Missed Connection

Skully's C-Block victim - m4w

We exchanged few words in the beautifully choreographed 40 minutes of full contact, panting breaths on each others necks, tugging on the small of each others back, drunken tango to Cure songs on this past Thursday. You spilled your drink down my leg sexily. I took every opportunity to jut out my groin (in drunken rhythm of course).

The chemistry was POWERFUL. So much that I was mentally preparing to put your name on the deed to my house only I never really got your name so much as pretended to hear it over the roar of Culture Club. At any rate our time together was something special. At the very moment that the sweat, grinding, frenzied tugging, and soul piercing eye contact made our move to the next level an inevitable foregone conclusion... your friend executed the most vicious C-block in all of human history.

This was no ordinary C-block. This was a soul crippling legendary C-block; the horrors from which I'm certain I will take with me to my grave. Now even though this struck at the very heart of me, I still admire the artfulness of it. The impeccable timing... right as the wave of chemistry was about to crest. The confident and clear proclamation "We'll be right back." while marching in the general direction of the bathroom which just happens to be THE SAME DIRECTION AS THE DOOR! NOOOOOOO! Not so much as a phone number!

Frankly I'm embarrassed that I fell for such a primitive ploy. In my defense I've been out of the market for a while and clearly I've got a little ring rust. But I'll be back Miss Cockblock and you're going to have to be way more crafty next time.

Green dress brunette... please forward your name and address so I can proceed with the changes to my deed.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Denim on Denim likes it when it wears denim. This is why

My True Love Died In An Old Pan of Oil

Missed Connections - Craig's List

twitter - w4m

I miss my hubby, he talks more with twitter people than me. I'm not a bad person. I'm very sad and alone thanks a lot. I love you anyway.

Monday, April 13, 2009


Missed Connections - Minneapolis, 4/13/2009

My Best Friend - m4w - 42 (Card Board Box)

Wow. I see now you will do whatever it takes to make life difficult for me. Why? This whole thing is stupid. Stop the lies please. I do hope that everything in your life goes awsome and I do sincerley feel that. There is some wierd ideas in your head and I only can think of one place that you have gotten them and thats to bad. Not like you care,but I am sticking to my game plan that we talked about. I have not wavered in any way. Bonnie would be proud of me. .. If there is anything I can do for you let me know and I wont be contacting you. Good luck with everything. You know deep in your heart that my love is always there.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

That's all there is. There isn't anymore.

Here at Denim on Denim, if we are anything, we are professionals. The staff would like to take this opportunity to thank you the reader for stopping by. In the past couple weeks Denim on Denim was purchased by Ruport Murdoch, and due to his generous donation of cash we have been able to go out and hire dozens of new staff members. We are excited to get down to work and start bringing you the hard hitting features you have been demanding.

By the way, we are going to try and do more then just videos here. We have a couple ideas but one in particular that requires your help. We want to hear your stories. Every last boring one of them. It doesn't matter if they are true, made up, total lies, but we want to hear your stories and interview you about them. We can do it over the phone, over email, or in person. We can change the names of people in the stories if you want, it doesn't matter to us. We want to hear stories on any topic. Love lost, love found, stories of heroism, goofy stories, sad stories, whatever. We just want to talk to you. So let us know if you are interested and we can set something up.

This post is going to be a little long, but that is only because we are just starting out. Please note that they will probably be much shorter once we get this thing up and running. You can probably expect some writings about true things, made up things, bigfoot, robots, pirates, etc. If you have any suggestions just let us know.

I think we will have a proper manifesto/statement of intent later this week, but until we get our lazy asses around to doing that, enjoy this; "Twin Beaks", brought to you by Monsterpiece Theater.