Sunday, June 19, 2011

It was hot, then it got humid, then I saw a dude walking a dog, but, seriously, it could rain at any moment.

In high school I played for four years on the golf team. I was not all that great, scratch player at best. I was really into it for a long time. For several years golf just pretty much consumed every summer of mine. Between playing rounds for the team and for my own fun I was probably playing around 100 times a year. I was comfortable with the fact that I was never going to be all that great but then it happened. Just one day, out of no where I couldn't hit the ball straight. You hear people complain about how they always slice the ball right and they would just be a better player if they could get that under control. Mine was nothing like that. It was like a slice on steroids. I would swing and the ball would just go dead right. I have made the ball go so far right that I swear it almost goes behind me. I'm a danger to any person or object standing to the right of me when I swing.

The only reason I bring this up is because I have been watching the US Open. I don't know how this happened. It was really hot on Thursday and I had to be home during the day and there was nothing else on so I put it on. And then I watched it Friday, and then I watched it Saturday, and then I listened to a pod-cast about how to bet on golf, which is for degenerates only, let me tell you. I can't really say I'm even enjoying it all that much really. The person currently in the lead is up by 10 strokes. He is just running laps around these dudes.

Also, golfers as a whole have to look like the biggest group of idiots. If aliens crash landed at the US Open right now they would assume that humans are not worth saving because why would you willingly decide to wear something like this?

That is really just the worst, I mean what the hell are we going for here. Camo? Really? Anyways, the deeper problem is that I find myself sort of caring about golf because there are zero other sporting events to care about right. There is baseball but it is June which means we still have another 1,000 games left in the year. The NBA just ended, but on a side note, I've decided I'm going as Dirk for Halloween and I need someone to come with me as Deshawn Stevenson and you will have to have a fake or real neck tattoo of Abraham Lincoln on your Adam's apple. 

I'm not really certain where I'm going with this. I think I'm trying to say that I'm kind of really looking forward to Wimbledon. I like any sporting event that makes me feel like I should be drinking a Pimm's cup while watching it. 

Also, I'm kind of hungover which is A) why this is just a rambling stream on consciousnesses thing and (B) why I've been digging this all day.

Free Jazz Harp! Bammmmm! Alice Coltrane is a crazy person and makes Lady Gaga's music sound pedestrian. This is some wild shit here. Harp, bass, some drums, a sitar, sax. (Apparently it is not a sitar but a tambura, who the hell knows what that is?) It's like the late 60's just rolled into one bitching jazz album.

 I swear to god, writing about jazz is like trying to describe a color. "You know, it's kind of like brown....ish" 

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